Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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