I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
