I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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