I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
