the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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