Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
