How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
