You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
