Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
