You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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