I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
