Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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