so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
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the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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