Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
