Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
