My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
