It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
