Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
