I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I forget how to act sober
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