how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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