remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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