we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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