break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
