There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My vagina just recognized that song.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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