Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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