No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
