I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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