This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
