i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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