I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
