Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
operation harelip BJ is a go
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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