I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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