My Higher Power is John Stamos
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
handjob tips. give me some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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