Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
