went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
