can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
