last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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