It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
