I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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