friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
