I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
