I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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