thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
