Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
