She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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