My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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