I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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