is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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