i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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