just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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