Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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