i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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