We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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