i need an iv and a liver transplant
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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