proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
