You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Can't talk, ducks in the car
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
