I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
