Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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