Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
