the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
