Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
