I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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