your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Text me some of your sweat
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